week 5; monday; locked to sans

[detanimetion]

[After this conversation, Undyne will drag Sans back to the Undertale room of horror. She locks the door behind her and turns, propping her hands on her hips. There's no escape now, Sans.]

Okay, no one else is listening. You finally gonna tell me what this is all about now?

Comments

[detanimetion]

I'm gonna throw you down a well if you keep this up!! [SHE IS TRYING TO BE SERIOUS HERE why is her life so difficult]

[thebonezone]

wow. i didn't even know there was a well in this place. where'd you find it?

[detanimetion]

[INTERNALLY SCREAMING. Externally screaming a little too.]

I'll dig my own well just so I can throw you down it! Just tell me what the hell's up with the kid already!! [Seriously, this is starting to sound pretty bad.]

[thebonezone]

[raises his hands up. no violence!!!]

ok, ok... the truth is... they're a time traveler.

[what isn't that believable. it's at least 30% true???]

[detanimetion]

[Look at her face, Sans. Look how tired she is. Look how much this one conversation has rapidly aged her.]

A time traveler.

[thebonezone]

yep.

[undyne is gonna be the oldest fish in the sea soon]

[detanimetion]

[Just. Slowly rubbing her temples. In the eye of a hurricane, there is quiet.]

A person. Who travels through time. And they somehow wronged you by...what, revealing the punchline to one of your jokes before you could?

[thebonezone]

[wow. that's actually a good one. but no, sans has decided to go with full... 30% truth.]

nah. see, i'm actually a time cop.

[FULL 30%]

[detanimetion]

[If she kills Sans, Papyrus will be really sad. If she kills Sans, Papyrus will be really sad.

She's just going to repeat this to herself in her head for a few minutes here.]

What the hell is a time cop?! [WHY IS SHE EVEN ASKING]

[thebonezone]

[hes also immune this week but whatever works]

it's law enforcement for time travellers. duh. [gosh undyne!!! what do you think it is!!!]

[detanimetion]

[does he really think that immunity will save him from being murdered by Undyne's DETERMINATION]

Wow!! There must be a lot of time-travelers if there's a whole law enforcement agency dedicated to it!! Who else is a time cop, I wonder!! [slowly...losing her grip here...]

[thebonezone]

[no but lbr nothing can save him from undyne's determination]

it's just me, actually. it's a very lonely life. [gaster's fucking dead 30% truths!!!]

[detanimetion]

Oh good! That means when I go back in time to kick your teeth in for screwing with me, there'll be no one to stop me!!

Seriously, will you stop messing around for once and just tell me the truth already!! [sorry Sans but your 30% is not enough!! YOU NEED TO GO UP TO AT LEAST 50%]

[thebonezone]

you're real demanding, you know that? [it's almost like he's aggravating her or something. ok. sans is gonna Try A Thing.] ... but fine. i'll tell you the truth.

i made a promise to someone that i'd protect the kid.

[an actual truth, but also a confusing one??]

[detanimetion]

And whose fault is that?!

[But okay, she'll simmer down since it seems like Sans...might actually be serious for once? It makes no sense, but at least it's not as ludicrous as timecop.]

A promise? [She wants to ask to who, but that's not the relevant part here and there's probably a limit to how honest Sans can be in a day.] And...?

[thebonezone]

well. i really hate making promises. [he's aware that that implicates whoever he made his promise to more than the human, so he's quick to add:] you got any idea how much work's involved in keeping a human safe in the underground? it's exhausting.

[like he actually does anything but y'know #acceptablelies]

[detanimetion]

...you were sleeping when I was chasing the human through Hotland!! [Granted, her stupefied rage did slow her down a little, but still. You can do a little better, Sans.]

[thebonezone]

yeah, but they're still alive, aren't they? haven't died once.

[#accetablelies continues]

[detanimetion]

That doesn't have anything to do with -- wait, that's not the point! What does any of this have to do with their picture being in your envelope?!

[thebonezone]

just the effort they're making me put out should be worth the nemesis line.

[it's a joke, so he doesn't expect her to believe that one... but does that mean he plans on being any less annoying? no.]

[detanimetion]

I'm gonna hurl you out the window. [UGH SANS EVEN BREAK ISN'T THIS BAD!!]

[thebonezone]

that'll be a waste... i won't feel the pane.

[pictured here are sans's last words before undyne killed him]

[detanimetion]

[Undyne takes a few deep breaths, then smiles, closes the distance between her and Sans until she's looming right in front of him

and flicks him gently on the nose.]

[thebonezone]

[it took him everything he had not to dodge that. he cant!! die!! hes fINE!!!!

but also she's gonna kill him now right]

uhhhh...

[detanimetion]

[Super cheerfully:] Just making sure the immunity barrier still works!

[Then she picks him up, slams the window open, and HURLS HIM OUT OF IT AS HARD AS SHE CAN. don't worry mod has already confirmed he will be totally unharmed]

[thebonezone]

[THERE HE GOES........]

[sans has about 30 seconds to consider whether he regrets any of his life choices that have led to this specific event.]

[he should. all things considered, he really should.]

[...but he doesn't. he does, however, bounce harmlessly in the snow. he decides to just lie there. this is where he lives now. he sends a thumbs up to undyne through the window.]

[HE WON THAT DUEL ANYWAY]

[detanimetion]

[Sticking her head out the window to yell at him some more (and also double check if he's okay but MOSTLY THE FIRST THING)]

Don't think I'm letting this go any time soon, Sans! This conversation isn't over!! [She just needs a bit of a break where she can restock all her DO NOT MURDER SANS cards that she's used up today. She does not have enough of them!!]

[thebonezone]

[oh good he has time to get ready for the next time]

'kay. ttyl.

[she probably can't hear him.]